The people in Maycomb do not know me.
They do not understand me.
They either hate me or are scared of me.
Just like that boy, Cecil Jacobs, always walking out of his way to get home, just so that he could avoid me if I'm out in the front porch.
Or even like the two Finch kids, trying all means to get as far away from me as possible when passing by my house. As if I won't be able to see them if they walk across the street. My eyesight wasn't that bad yet despite my age.
The older one had even cut my precious camellias just to take revenge!
All these people hate me because of the things I say.
I admit my mistake, but I can' help it.
It's the drug.
It's the morphine precribed to numb my pain.
I don't need it.
I don't want to be like all those weak people who wishes to die painlessly.
I'd rather die beholden to nothing!
... At least Atticus understood me.
He knew what I was going through and even sent Jem to help me.
Showing posts with label mrs dubose's thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mrs dubose's thoughts. Show all posts
Diary from Heaven: Once upon a Memory
It was on a Saturday morning after I had taken my dose of morphine.
I was sitting out on my porch as usual, watching the life in Maycomb go by.
Slow as always.
No sooner, the two Finch kids came passing by just as my conciousness began to fade by the minute.
Before I knew it, my subconcious self took over my mind (and mouth).
It, my subconcious self, started giving the Finch boy a hard time.
And when Jeremy talked back, it became unhappy and started insulting Scout, and even Atticus.
saying that Atticus' "lawing for niggers" was just spoiling the Finch's name, and also about him not remarrying and letting his children run lose.
It went too far and it knew it.
Even I knew it.
However, Jeremy and Jean Louis had just went off to where they were going to.
I waited for them disappear from my point of view before calling for Jessie take take me back into the house before I totally lose concious... ...
... ... in the afternoon, I was awoken by the shrieking coming from outside house.
It took me awhile before the numbness from the morphine completely weared off.
When i was finally ready, the suprise waiting for me outside gave me the shock of my life.
My precious camellias!
Someone had cut my precious camllias!
The lovely buds were lying in a mess all over my porch.
Then I saw this broken baton with its filthy yellow tassal lying among the pile of dying camellia buds.
Somehow it had struck me that the culprit was Jeremy Finch.
I could not blame him after all that I had said from this morning... ...
... ...Whem evening came, I was in my front porch again.
As usual, Atticus would walk pass my porch behaving like a gentlemen. But this time, without his two children.
By the look on his face, it seems that he saw the cut camellias lying on the floor.
Jessie then passed the broken baton to Atticus and told him what had happened.
he had probably understood the situation, and told me that he would send Jeremy over to my house daily to help me with my addiction as a punishment.
Then, he said his usual farewells to me and hoped with all his heart that Id have a good day tomorrow.
I was sitting out on my porch as usual, watching the life in Maycomb go by.
Slow as always.
No sooner, the two Finch kids came passing by just as my conciousness began to fade by the minute.
Before I knew it, my subconcious self took over my mind (and mouth).
It, my subconcious self, started giving the Finch boy a hard time.
And when Jeremy talked back, it became unhappy and started insulting Scout, and even Atticus.
saying that Atticus' "lawing for niggers" was just spoiling the Finch's name, and also about him not remarrying and letting his children run lose.
It went too far and it knew it.
Even I knew it.
However, Jeremy and Jean Louis had just went off to where they were going to.
I waited for them disappear from my point of view before calling for Jessie take take me back into the house before I totally lose concious... ...
... ... in the afternoon, I was awoken by the shrieking coming from outside house.
It took me awhile before the numbness from the morphine completely weared off.
When i was finally ready, the suprise waiting for me outside gave me the shock of my life.
My precious camellias!
Someone had cut my precious camllias!
The lovely buds were lying in a mess all over my porch.
Then I saw this broken baton with its filthy yellow tassal lying among the pile of dying camellia buds.
Somehow it had struck me that the culprit was Jeremy Finch.
I could not blame him after all that I had said from this morning... ...
... ...Whem evening came, I was in my front porch again.
As usual, Atticus would walk pass my porch behaving like a gentlemen. But this time, without his two children.
By the look on his face, it seems that he saw the cut camellias lying on the floor.
Jessie then passed the broken baton to Atticus and told him what had happened.
he had probably understood the situation, and told me that he would send Jeremy over to my house daily to help me with my addiction as a punishment.
Then, he said his usual farewells to me and hoped with all his heart that Id have a good day tomorrow.
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